Dykes To Watch Out For

the AWAKEN ING

SORRY TO MAKE YOU, MO.

I'A ALL DONE WITH THE ULTRASOUND NOW I'M GOING TO DO AN ADJUSTMENT.

185

AMA, I'VE BEEN

IN THERAPY WITH YOU FOR FOUR YEARS NOW, AND IT'S BEEN TWO SINCE HARRIET LEFT ME! WHEN AM I GONNA COME OUT OF THIS SU

I THOUGHT

THINGS WERE TURNING ARRAND

WHEN THEA STARTED FLIRTING WITH ME, BUT THAT WAS JUST A DA END. I MEAN, WHAT DID I EXPECT ? SHE AND MANE OWN A FUCING CONDO TOGETHER.

SCHXXF

PHORTLY...

HOW'RE YOU FEELING, MO?

Yalow, I ACTUALLY FEEL GREATY NOW 'BOUT THAT?

THEN THIS BACK TROUBLE!

I WAKE UP ALL STIFF EVERY MORNING, ALONE IN MY BED, I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, YOU KNOW...

MAY 6, 1994

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

THAT'S ENOUGH, AO. I CAN'T STAND ONE MORE SYLLABLE OF YOUR SELF-INDULGENT SNIVELLING!

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT INTERESTED IN CHANGING YOUR LIFE, SO STOP WASTING MY VALUABLE TIME AND GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

B-3

BUT I...

POOF!

IT'S LIKE I'MA NEW PERSON! JEEZ, I'VE GOTTA GET OFF MY BUTT! SEIZE THE DAY! JOIN THE Y! BECOME A VEGAN! READ THE FRENCH PEMINISTS!

Now!

I'LL MAIL YOU THE BILL!

I'L BABYSIT RAFAEL SO CLARICE AND TONI CAN GO OUT MORE. AND LOIS HAS BEEN BUGGING ME TO COME TO A LESBIAN AVENGERS MEETING FOR MONTHS. WHAT AM I WAITING FOR? I'M SURE THEY COULD BENERT FROM MY INSIGHTS!

BECOME

I'LL TAKE THAT COMPUTER CLASS JEZWHAT MAS WAS HINTING ABOUT AT WORK... AND I'M VOLUNTEER TO ORGANIZE READINGS BY LOCALWRITERS AT THE BOOKSTORE. HECK ILL START WRITING AGAIN MERE!

OF MO'S OLD. ENDEARING MALAISE?

IS THIS GROTESQUE

ZEST FOR

LIFE MERELY ATIVAPORARY SIDE-EFFECT,

OR HAS DR. MARRO CREATED A

MONSTER

HE MOSTLY UNFABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE SO IT'S 9PM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. YOUR BEST FRIEND BUCKY JUST CALLED TO REPORT (HOW HE KNOWS THESE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER FIGURE) THAT THAT CLARINET PLAYER YOU THINK IS SEXYTHE ONE WITH THE TATOOS-WILL PROBABLY BE AT TODD'S PARTY TONIGHT. YOW MYOWL MEYOW

LISTEN, I'M OPENING A CAN OF LENTIL SOUP GOT THAT? S-O-U-P®

HOW MANY YEARS LL IT TAKE TO CONVINGE You THAT JUST OVE Yed HEAR A CANOPENERYOU'RE NOT GUARA TEED A CANO TH

YOWD

ARE YOU HEARING ME? NO TUNA GUARANTEES

ETHAN GREEN...

Work

And ALTHOUGH You Think Todd is AN ASS, AND HAVE A NAGGING "bug" OF SOME SORT OR ANOTHER, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SPEND HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH THE CLARINET PLAYER (or ANYONE ELSE) BY STAYING IN WITH YOUR KLEENEX WATCHING MURDER SHE WROTE. YOU START THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO WEAR..

LAST MASHED: SOMETIME DURING THEY CARTER PRESIDENTO.

YOUR HAIR HAS SENT WORD THAT IT, ALSO, AS YOU TRY FORCING YOUR "STRAIGHT LCGS" OVER THE THE FLU, ANA WILL NOT BE COOPERATING

YEAH, HAIRFLU,

OH IT'S

THIS EVENING.

MOIYDAH!

WE JUST THANK GOD WE DON'T GOT

SINUSES!...

WHAT THE NOSE PUTS UP WITH.

TSK TSK TK...

SPECIALLY

THAT Best

NOT TALKING VTTON" IF YOU GETOUR

NEW BOOTS, LOSE YOUR balANCE AND PRODUCE A GREENISH WELT ON YOUR FOREHEAD... Todd's AdARESS WAS LAST SEEN ON A TINY SCRAP OF PAPER Ab UTA MAIF HOUR AGO, & is NOW IRRETRIEVABLY LOST UNDER ALL THE CLOTHES YOU HATE.

SENS WITH RA MASIC

By Eric Orner '94.

YOUR HERETOFORE Tidy CLOSET NOW Reduced TO HOMESTEA& AFTER THE HURRICANE, YOU'VE SETTLER ON AN OUTFIT. ANNOYINGY, YOUR BRAND NEW ALREADY-NEARLY-OUT-OF-STYLE ENGINEER BOOTS GO BEST WITH THE LOOSE FITTING GEANS THAT lucky dayJUST HAPPEN TO BE SOPPING WET & DRIP DRYING OVER THE TUB.. WHY NOT JUST THROW US IN THE. DRYER?

ON ARSOLUTELY! WE WON'T SHRINK.. YOU HAVE WORD!

OUR

CROSS OUR LEGS.

*DOUG'S SHAMPOO;

Do You THROW IT //// OUT? SEND IT TO HAT PUTITAARY! LET IT AT THERE 2

SluddENLY (and NOT TO THE DISPLEASURE OF ACERTAIN MEMBER OF THIS HOUSE hold WHO, AS IT TURNS OUT, had NO PLANS TO INVITE HER POKER buddiES OVER THIS EVENING FOR PIZZA ANd bEER) THE KLEENEX AND THE VCR DON'T LOOK SO UNAPPEALING. DON'T BE SOSMUG.

MICRO

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